Alternative Definitions

[Pete44ru]

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1. Coffee (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.): Being appalled over how much weight has been gained.

3. Abdicate (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.): Impotence.

6. Negligent (adj.): A condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your underwear.

7. Lymph (v.): To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n): Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.): An emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.): A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n): A rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), Someone who sprinkles their conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.),: An opening in the front of underpants worn by Jewish men.

17. Inuendo (n.): An Italian suppository.

18. Bigamist (n.): An Italian rain storm.


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[Blaine]

Rifle Collection - For that $5,000 dollar a pound venison.

[JerryB]

This old man laughed to hard to read them to my wife. that is some good stuff.

[piller]

I thought a negligent was that thing a wife wore on the night of her honeymoon for about 5 minutes.

[piller]

Persimmon: a country preacher who has become a little bitter.
Break dancing: a style of movements similar to an epileptic seizure. Invented in Detroit as a way of avoiding being shot by rival gangs.

Light bulb: one that is discarded in Holland as being less likely to grow.

[Blaine]

paradox - medical office.

[Ysabel Kid]

[jeepnik]

I thought a negligent was that thing a wife wore on the night of her honeymoon for about 5 minutes.

No, that's what you would be if it lasted five minutes.