Sure made me laugh

[Bill in Oregon]

Y'all might have seen it before, but if not, here ya go:

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing butt-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 55.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some person that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million upset off old fanny burbs with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who know that heir best yea4rs re already behind them.



Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.

[earlmck]

Hah! Good one Bill. But one night in a fox hole and I'd have to have a young guy around to pull me out and stand me up. And then it'd be hours before I could do more than shuffle along. I'm just going to have to wait for the terrorists to come to me -- not up to going off looking for them.

[jeepnik]

Then there is this one.

Why doesn't the military use older men who have lived most of their lives already.

Answer: Tell a bunch of testosterone infused 18 year olds to charge a hill and up they will go.
Tell a bunch of 48 year olds to charge a hill and they just look at you and tell you that you really are crazy. (I had to clean it up a bit to make it g rated)

[piller]

But, the 48 year olds would find a better way to fix the problem. At 52, I am not going to charge up the hill, but I might make my way around it and shoot the enemy in the back of the head. Why die for my country when I can make the enemy ba----rd die for his?

[FWiedner]

... and that's why they got no use for old guys...

[Blaine]

I hear that they have just authorized up to 1000 Ex-Military pilots to be recalled to active duty. That'll go over like a turd in the punchbowl. (Study up on your DPRK maps, boys and girls)

[jeepnik]

I hear that they have just authorized up to 1000 Ex-Military pilots to be recalled to active duty. That'll go over like a turd in the punchbowl. (Study up on your DPRK maps, boys and girls)

Hey, this sounds like the Korean war all over again. Oh wait, it is, literally, the same war just postponed 64 years.

Retreads weren't too happy then either. Well, a few like my uncle Ray were, but he was really good at it.

[firefuzz]

I hear that they have just authorized up to 1000 Ex-Military pilots to be recalled to active duty. That'll go over like a turd in the punchbowl. (Study up on your DPRK maps, boys and girls)

I pray you're wrong Blaine, but I fear you're right.

[jeepnik]

Maybe I'm wrong and things have changed. But if one isn't in the reserves, and has resigned their commission they can't be recalled.

During the Korean war the pilots that were recalled had signed up for the reserves after WWII. They gladly took what ever benefits were offered, then when it came to living up the their end of the bargain some were unhappy.

The excellent General Jimmy Stewart movie "Strategic Air Command" pointed this out when the lead character had to give up baseball to return to the military. The main character had joined the reserves in the incorrect belief that he would never be called up.

[Blaine]

Maybe I'm wrong and things have changed. But if one isn't in the reserves, and has resigned their commission they can't be recalled.

During the Korean war the pilots that were recalled had signed up for the reserves after WWII. They gladly took what ever benefits were offered, then when it came to living up the their end of the bargain some were unhappy.

The excellent General Jimmy Stewart movie "Strategic Air Command" pointed this out when the lead character had to give up baseball to return to the military. The main character had joined the reserves in the incorrect belief that he would never be called up.

If they are retired, they can be recalled.
Aren't all prior service automatically in the inactive reserve?

[jeepnik]

Hadn't thought about the retired angle. But, enlisted folks, unless it's changed, who do one enlistment are in the inactive reserve until they've served a total of six years.

Officers, if they resign their commission are free and clear.

[Blaine]

Hadn't thought about the retired angle. But, enlisted folks, unless it's changed, who do one enlistment are in the inactive reserve until they've served a total of six years.

Officers, if they resign their commission are free and clear.

I'm not going to read this, but this is what the obligations are.

http://dopma-ropma.rand.org/military-se ... ation.html

But, yes, I'm on The Retired Rolls and supposedly can be asked to serve. It's supposedly the only way they can pay retirees.

[piller]

3 years active, then National Guard. More than 20 years since I got totally out. I cannot be recalled since I did not retire. With my feet, they wouldn't be able to put me back in the infantry anyway.