OT: Musings from the Miller - Relfections on what might ...

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:42 pm

... have been.

1970; 1970 was a milestone year in many ways.
I turned 18 that year.
The first military draft lottery was held.
My birth date, August 16th came in at 358 if I remember right. When that news came out I collapsed in tears of relief because I knew I would not be drafted.
It also meant I would not have to engage my alternate plan of action. No, not run off to Canada as so many cowards did, but join the Navy.

But yesterday ...... I was daydreaming of what might have happened had I joined the Navy.

First: I would have cut the apron strings early. As good as my mother was, she was co-dependent. It's a long story, trust me. And she made my life much much too easy. I fault her for that, because I'm the kind that won't lift a finger unless I need to.

Second: I would have made my father proud. Since he and mom were divorced when I was maybe 7 or 8 I had almost zero male influence in my life. Mom wouldn't allow it. The worse part is she moved every year for almost 20 years just to prevent my dad from finding me.
I pictured him reading the letter as I told him I had enlisted, and inviting him to my boot camp graduation. My dad was a WW II Navy combat vet. I KNOW in my heart he would have been proud of me.

Third: No matter what the outcome of my service, it would have made me a better more self assured person. Something I so desperately needed then and for the rest of my life.

Fourth: I would have been able to say, I've done something.

I cried yesterday, because none of this ever happened. And here I am at 56 years old, all but crippled, and with not one d.a.m.n. thing to say for myself.
And no idea of what to do with what I have left.

Every man need some adventure in his life, it's too late for me.

You know, if I was well off financially, I'd go buy me a little red sports car and start my mid-life crisis. But hell, I can't even do that.

Sorry for whining, I'm just a bit down right now.
I'm not even sure I should post this.

Joe

Ray · Post by **Ray** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:12 pm

Deleted.

Tycer · Post by **Tycer** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:32 pm

Well Joe, your life may not be the roaring drama you might have envisioned in your youth, but you've enriched my life. I've learned a lot from you in the short time we've known each other. Thank you for that.

My 62 year old brother has lived a life of poor-me depression under the darkest cloud I've ever seen. When his adventure comes and smacks him on the nose, his eyes will be so full with tears of self-pity there's no way he'll see it or be ready to act.

Your life is far from over. Your adventure may be just around the corner. Make sure your eyes aren't so full that you miss it. Make like a Boy Scout and "Be Prepared".

Come August 16th, I'll celebrate your birth. Maybe you'll be off saving the world, maybe you won't, but I'll wish you happy birthday just the same.

mescalero1 · Post by **mescalero1** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:33 pm

Please tell me you are not listening to country music again!

alnitak · Post by **alnitak** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:39 pm

Joe,

I think there are a number of times where all of us sit out on the porch in the dark and think of what might have been ... could have been ... should have been. The fortunes almost made, loves lost, and chances flittered away. Decisions that led down paths of hardship, hard work, and heartache. And each of us, deep inside, can count each and every one of the regrets, and our failures. I know I sometimes quietly share the same kind of thoughts as yours with a glass of bourbon and the invisible talkative demons that whisper to me of my imperfections, sometimes with a wrenching of my soul.

But I also know that I can't judge what path God has laid before me. And though I make bad judgements (constantly it seems), He stills gives me opportunities to do the right thing, and so feel better about myself and my place in the world. We all do what we can, when we can. Some have opportunities to contribute greater than others; some are driven to succeed; some are destined for heroics; and the vast majority of us just try to survive and do some good in our lives. It's kinda like the movie, "It's A Wonderful Life." Who knows who we've touched, just by living our life in the way we have? Who knows if the decisions are the right ones? Should I have enlisted or not? If so, would I have met my wife? Have my kids? Would I have had the same job, met the same people, had the same friends, or even joined the same online forum? If I had become an academic, would I have experienced more, or less, of life? Would I have died in a car crash, or at the hands of a lunatic shooter run rampant? If I had married that girl, and had kids 15 years earlier, would I be enjoying my life more now? If I had not wasted money on bad investments and selfish pleasures, would I be better able to take care of my aging parents now?

Life doesn't come with an instruction book, nor looking glass. We all do the best we can.

There's and old saying that goes something like, "May you live long enough to have regrets." Sounds like you passed the test. Regardless of anything else, be thankful.

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:40 pm

Joe,

I agree that not joining was not a bad thing. I served in the Army and Reserves and while it was a "learning" experience, I sure missed out on some things at home that I regret.

I am absolutely sure that you have accomplished things that most of us here wished we had. Don't dwell on what might have been and 56 is not too old to live it up and learn new things. Find a someone and teach him/her what you know. I think that is my big regret. I am 50 and so far have not passed on what little knowledge I have gained through my experiences and hobbies.

bogus bill · Post by **bogus bill** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:08 pm

Joe, I could have almost wrote that! I tried to enlist in the air force when I turned 18 in 1959. I was fat as a pig and had high blood pressure. I didnt want to go home. Thought about hari cari! I came back to town, went over to the army recruiter. He lied (or gambled) and said he could pull strings or something similar. So, back on the train to milwaukee and much to my amazement and dissapointment it was the very same doctors that remembered me from a day or two ago! Got the bums rush and another ticket home. Oh the pain! Felt lower than whale dung. Years went by then the cuban thing. I got called for my medical. Flunked again. Told them I wanted in too. All the way through viet nam, I was rechecked every 6 months and always my BP was off the chart.
Then I got in a terrible motorcycle accident in 1970. While I was recouperateing once the nurse took my BP. I knew it would be high, but for conversation sake asked. Oh! Your BP IS PERFECT! It has been close to perfect ever since! I had heard once you have high BP you always will!
Bottom line. I am a christian, and I feel God himself kept me out of the service! I have always felt ashamed I never went in and done my part. But I did get my share, maybe more than my share of excitement those years in my private life. Also I must have flunked 3 or 4 physicals to get on several sheriffs or highway patrol jobs in those years too! Today I just got back from another physical to see if I can pass my medical to get my pilots license active again! I do have to jump through some hoops as I had my nose cut off due to cancer just over a year ago. I am okay now, and have a new nose. But I do have to get a ton of doctor reports and challenge the FAA system.
I remember once being on a buss full of us guys going for our physical in texas at the time of the cuban criess. The guy next to me was wearing huge bib overalls, he was fat and looked like he was pumped up with a tire pump. He bragged he had gourged himself on bannanas and stuff and had put on something like 40 pounds since he got his notice! I was sitting there, wanted in, and couldnt get in! I guess God knows best!

Sixgun · Post by **Sixgun** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:22 pm

Mr Joe,
Stay cool brother--I've seen you have joined the club. Many guys here talk like life is sooooooo grand, but believe me, we ALL have a cross to bear.

I was a drunk and a pothead 'till I was 40, then decided that the Lord gave me one life to live, and I sure was not going to waste what I had left of it. Been clean for 14 years. I often think of the 20 years or so that my life was a blur, but it ain't gonna take me down.

Not to condensend on the many military guys here as they are the ones who have kept this country truly free but...............you lived at a time when there was a war going on, and a nasty politicians war at that---------count your blessings there-why die or fight for a cause that none of us know what it was all about----lies, lies, and more lies by our government.

I believe everything happens for a reason and that each one of us has a special calling. I still remember the time I was 14 years old and drowning in a river current. I was on the verge of giving up as I had sucked in lots of water. Then, out of nowhere, my foot hit a big rock and it was enough for me to get my head out of the water. The Lord put that rock there and I have been grateful ever since. I just have not figured out what my calling is yet.

It will come as He will let me know. In the meantime, I'm shootin', reloadin', and tellin' lies.

----------------Sixgun

mescalero1 · Post by **mescalero1** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:29 pm

Joe,
You are two days younger than me.
I am looking forward to the new challanges for me.
Adventure? I have a bullet in my leg I wish was not there, it hurts!
Look up the post where YK posted the pics from putting up my uncles windmill, when I first joined the forum I invited you to hunt there, think of walking with a rifle, shooting New Mexico Blacktail Jackrabbits, bigger than a lot of dogs. Just this last summer I taught a new group of kids how to catch trout out of the river with your bare hands. They were stunned, thought it was one of those walk 6 miles to school in the snow BS stories.
Get out west, feel the sun on you.
We have a black cougar running around, people I believe have told me they have seen it, I can barely contain myself; I want to see it.
There is MUCH to look forward to, open your mind.

Post by **Old Savage** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:35 pm

Grandma Moses did not begin painting until she was 78 and Moses himself wasn't called on by God until he was 80.

Otto · Post by **Otto** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:40 pm

J Miller wrote: Every man need some adventure in his life, it's too late for me.

If you have been following political developments over the past several months, you must know there's a good chance we're all going to experience a lot of adventure in the near future!

kimwcook · Post by **kimwcook** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:47 pm

Joe, I've got to add that you've enriched my life since I found this forum. You're a wealth of knowledge that astounds me all the time. Knowledge that everyone depends on. So long as you can walk you can get out and get started doing something.

I've had five shoulder surgeries, four of those in the last five years and my shoulders hurt all the time. But, I'm not going to let it limit me as it did my Dad. He quit lifting his arms because they hurt and as the years wore on he would only lift them as high as he could without them hurting. Now, he can barely wipe his nose. I won't allow it.

One way of looking at it is if you'd had all the adventures you wanted in your life what would you do later on? It would be extremely boring for the elder years.

Life is, well, it is what it is. Just don't think there's no one that cares about you. I've seen people do things for you on this board that I surely don't think they'd do for someone they don't care about. Just for that I'd consider myself a lucky man.

As stated already, everyone has their own cross to bear. It's funny how it always looks greener on the other side, until you get there. Believe me in my job I've seen people that have all the money they could ever want or use and their life sucks. I sincerely mean that.

AJMD429 · Post by **AJMD429** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:52 pm

Tycer wrote:Well Joe, your life may not be the roaring drama you might have envisioned in your youth, but you've enriched my life. I've learned a lot from you in the short time we've known each other. Thank you for that.

+1 on that - The real accomplishments in life are usually pretty humble ones; friends made, strangers helped, and if you're lucky - a spouse and some kids to raise. IF you manage to pull off even a few of those things without totally screwing them up, you've done more than the majority of us accomplish.

Sorry for whining, I'm just a bit down right now.
I'm not even sure I should post this.

Sharing the 'downs' is just a part of the things real men and women do when among friends. We on the forum should be flattered that you are willing to share the bad along with the good. Hopefully our collective friendship picks up your mood some. (And if it doesn't, I can vouch for some of the Rx stuff we MD's prescribe, when used correctly, as some of the most life-improving medications out there; I've used them to help many folks out of the doldrums, though I freely admit I play only backup fiddle for Faith, Family, and Friends.)

Even if you aren't as limber and strong as you used to be, don't let that keep you from doing whatever you can, and remember - there are lots of folks who will help you if you just ask. I've had friends who quit hunting because they were no longer physically able to field dress a deer - so they carry a cell phone and make sure they have some too-impatient-to-stay-put-in-a-deer-stand guy's number who is willing to do the hauling and field dressing, whether for a share of the meat, or just to be a nice guy. Keep that kind of thing in mind.

Hope some of what I said makes some sense.

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:59 pm

mescalero1 wrote:Please tell me you are not listening to country music again!

Nope, no country music. That stuff would really make me depressed.

Guys, thanks for the uplift. Really. I don't know what's coming my way. Sometimes it's easier to sit and wonder "what if" than it is to look ahead.

Mescalero,
I will someday get out west, and I will take you up on your offer. Matter of fact I'd like to try catching those fish with my hands. Sounds like fun. As for walking around with a rifle, oh what a dream that is. Used to do it all the time in AZ and never gave it a second thought. Can't do that here. Arrrghhhh...

As for teaching others what I have learned, I guess I've been doing that via the forums.

kimwcook,
You are right. I'm not dead yet.
As for the grass being greener till you get on the other side .... well let me tell you that the grass here is greener than where I came from and I'm sick of it. This place is just TOO green. Ever seen a place that's so moist that fungus and mold grows on concrete driveways? It does here.
That's why I like the desert.

I'll try to hold my spirits up.
Joe

rjohns94 · Post by **rjohns94** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:00 pm

+1 to what Alnitak said, couldn't say it better

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:05 pm

AJMD429 wrote:
Tycer wrote:Well Joe, your life may not be the roaring drama you might have envisioned in your youth, but you've enriched my life. I've learned a lot from you in the short time we've known each other. Thank you for that.
+1 on that - The real accomplishments in life are usually pretty humble ones; friends made, strangers helped, and if you're lucky - a spouse and some kids to raise. IF you manage to pull off even a few of those things without totally screwing them up, you've done more than the majority of us accomplish.

Sorry for whining, I'm just a bit down right now.
I'm not even sure I should post this.
Sharing the 'downs' is just a part of the things real men and women do when among friends. We on the forum should be flattered that you are willing to share the bad along with the good. Hopefully our collective friendship picks up your mood some. (And if it doesn't, I can vouch for some of the Rx stuff we MD's prescribe, when used correctly, as some of the most life-improving medications out there; I've used them to help many folks out of the doldrums, though I freely admit I play only backup fiddle for Faith, Family, and Friends.)

Even if you aren't as limber and strong as you used to be, don't let that keep you from doing whatever you can, and remember - there are lots of folks who will help you if you just ask. I've had friends who quit hunting because they were no longer physically able to field dress a deer - so they carry a cell phone and make sure they have some too-impatient-to-stay-put-in-a-deer-stand guy's number who is willing to do the hauling and field dressing, whether for a share of the meat, or just to be a nice guy. Keep that kind of thing in mind.

Hope some of what I said makes some sense.

AJMD429,

Yes it does make sense. A lot. As for the Rx, all I need is something that will help with long term arthritis pain. I'm not one for any form of mental or emotional Rx. I'm just not going there.

A good whiff of fresh desert air right after a rain is more of a happy pill that anything I can get from a pharmacy. If you've ever smelled it, you'll understand.

Joe

mescalero1 · Post by **mescalero1** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:26 pm

Yes, I have smelled it; and it is one of life's blessings.
Till you smell it again Joe.....................
You KNOW it is going to rain................ you can SMELL it!

RSY · Post by **RSY** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:30 pm

Amigo Joe:

I'm glad to see you hopefully on the upswing, sir. Playing the "what if" game is a dangerous pursuit with no end that can be as intoxicating as it is unproductive. I know exactly how you feel, though, man.

At 41, I am waking up every morning knowing that at the end of this month I am likely done financially. I look at the ceiling and ask myself why I wasted my time in the Marine Corps when friends were getting MBAs and now don't have a care in the world when it comes to money. I worry about sending my girls to college, paying for weddings, not to mention just keeping the lights on and food on the table in the meantime. And, then, I see my two little blonde-haired beauties (one almost 4, one almost 6) scurrying around and hugging me in the morning and I know one thing: The only way to "fix" things is to take action in the direction of the desired outcome. I owe it to them. I owe it to myself. Me taking the counsel of my fears and listening to Satan won't get me one step closer to my goals, long delayed they may be. And the clock ticks on...

Then there's my father who I love beyond words that is killing himself with the bottle. He is currently on a steep downward plunge due to the economy and his fears about the rest of his life. His lack of faith doesn't help, either. I know my (and my brother's) shakey position adds to his anxiety immensely. I feel even more guilty for that.

Hang in there, man. We'll make it.

Scott

AJMD429 · Post by **AJMD429** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:31 pm

J Miller wrote:As for the Rx, all I need is something that will help with long term arthritis pain.

Ask your Doc about the Voltaren Gel - seems to reduce need for the oral stuff that gets into parts of you that don't need Rx. Or Lidoderm patch
(...fade in music, roll disclaimers, and announcee sponsorship here...

)

J Miller wrote:A good whiff of fresh desert air right after a rain is more of a happy pill that anything I can get from a pharmacy. If you've ever smelled it, you'll understand.

Autumn air does the same for me. Probably some sort of subliminal pheromone affecting the limbic system, but whatever the stuff is, it doesn't come in a bottle!

Borregos · Post by **Borregos** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:46 pm

Joe,
I'm not all that good with putting words down like all these guys who have replied to you.
Lot of great stuff sent your way here I think.
This is what makes this forum so great.

Anyway Joe, think positive

There are a lot of folk rooting for you here, I had to deal with some severe arthritis pain and have overcome it for the moment. If you PM me I will give you my phone number and we can talk about it.

awp101 · Post by **awp101** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:54 pm

Joe, I think you're frustrated rather than depressed. Lord knows I get that way more often that I'd like to admit and it's for the same type of reasons. At 37 I've got a long enough list of "woulda, shoulda, coulda"s myself that I dwell on at times. Then I think about what I would have missed out on.

If I'd enlisted at the start of the first Gulf War like I wanted to, I would not have met my wife and may not have been around to spend the last years of my Mother's life with her.

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:13 pm

Joe -

I know part of where you are coming from. Not serving is the biggest regret of my life, and something I think about every day. But know this, you have positively impacted the lives of others. I know you have here. I know you have for me. I always look for your posts and look forward to reading your insights and experience. I wish you weren't so down, and hope you take this and all the other replies to heart.

I look forward to meeting you someday and shaking your hand. It will be my honor to do so!

bogus bill · Post by **bogus bill** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:26 pm

Right now I am thinking about john travolta. No, I am not a fan! But my slant is he has all the money in the world to do anything he wants. Loseing his son, I bet he would trade his money and circumstances with anyone of us if it would bring his son back!

Buffboy · Post by **Buffboy** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 11:49 pm

I think you have the winter blues Joe. Get some light, bright light, bath in it's glow, if it can't be sunlight something as bright. It ain't a cure all, but it helps. Joint pain can be helped by glucosamine sulfate. If you haven't tried it, do, it too helps.

I'm a little younger than you by 4 years but I quit worrying about coulda-woulda-shoulda a few years back. The thing I learned was, there's absolutely nothing you can do to change the past. You can only change your future. In the last few years, I've taken on a lot of challenges. I've lost a business, changed jobs, gotten married, got rid of most of my bad habits out of sheer necessity. Oddly enough this was the best thing that ever happened to me. I've learned I can do a lot of things I didn't know I could, emotionally, physically, and mentally. I look back at myself of 5 years ago and hardly recognize that person. I had a lot of good qualities but am amazed at the foolishness. I've still got a ways to go to be what I want to be and there's been more than a few steps back, but feel I'm on a path there.

It takes the belief in yourself and the willingness to let go of the past. Not forget it, it happened, there are lots of things you need from it but it doesn't exist anymore. You can't live in the past. Lots of people try, but it never happens. You can only create a new future with the lessons of the past and that's better anyway because the memories will be fresher. The past is the lessons of life, mistakes made are the stuff of learning and are the lessons you have taught us, have passed on to us. The man I've met through this forum shows you as a smart, resourceful person. I've learned a lot from you as have others here and we know you can do amazing things. We know this, we believe this, and we are trying to convince you we are right (this time, you can be right next time)

. You just have to believe it too.

airedaleman · Post by **airedaleman** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 12:00 am

Joe, I drank myself out of a career in advertising/public relations almost 30 years ago when I got fired from H&R shortly after returning from the NRA show in San Antonio. Admitted, finally ,that I was an alcoholic on 12 January 1980 and haven't had a drink since. AA gave me back my life. A local PD recruited me a couple of years after that, and life went on. In troubled times (and there have been many - after retiring and moving here, I wound up selling all my firearms to cover my wife's medical and pharmaceutical bills, and to assist a daughter and her family) I find the Serenity Prayer to be a wonderful source of strength, and its simplicity is dazzling:

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the things
I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Amen

And this from a book of meditations that I read every morning:

Look to this day.
For it is life.
The very life of life.
In its brief course lie all
The realities and verities of existence,
The bliss of growth,
The splendor of action,
The glory of power -

For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision,
But today, well lived
Makes every yesterday a dream
Of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well, therefore, to this day.

Sanskrit proverb

Regrets? Sure, I have a bushel basket full, but I don't dwell on them. Health problems? Hell, I don't know. I avoid doctors I'll be 70 in May (God willing) and I can still keep up with the younger guys at the park (Thank God I'm only part-time though - gives me a chance to recuperate sometimes!) I was diagnosed with prostate cancer a good while back and so far nothing has come of it. If and when this develops into a problem, I'll deal with it. Remember one thing: NEVER GIVE UP!

tman · Post by **tman** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:26 am

maybe try some voulenteering at a veteran's hospitial or a food bank. its a way to serve your country. i guess all of us wonder what if. i try to appreciate what i have now, health, family,employment. it may not be much, but i thank GOD everyday for what iDO have. good luck. i hope you find what you are looking for in your journey.

Hairy Clipper · Post by **Hairy Clipper** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:59 am

Joe,

I turned 18 in 1970, too! With a draft number of 44 the army called pretty early for me to get my physical. Which I failed twice! 4F=women and children go before I do. Before the draft I had serious thoughts of making the military a career, well so much for that.

Life doesn't always turn out as we plan or hope. I take it as it comes. I am currently, older, much fatter, and in overall poorer health...although I still have all my hair and it has not turned gray...yet! When people find out some of the things I do or have done they ask, "what is going on? Going through you second childhood?" Well, I just have to inform them, "No, I am not! I am not done with my first one yet!!!"

Joe, Now get off your duff and get out and do something foolish! It doesn't have to make sense to be fun or useful!

Hairy

AJMD429 · Post by **AJMD429** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:49 am

tman wrote:maybe try some voulenteering at a veteran's hospitial or a food bank. its a way to serve your country. i guess all of us wonder what if. i try to appreciate what i have now, health, family,employment. it may not be much, but i thank GOD everyday for what iDO have. good luck. i hope you find what you are looking for in your journey.

Good ideas there - !!!

k8bor · Post by **k8bor** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:56 am

Today is the 1st day of the rest of your life.

Everything you are or will become evolves from decisions you've made along the way. Simply apply yourself as well as you can in a different (or new) direction. Me, I never stop learning, or doing or pushing. And I'm 62.

I've been thrown out of my house as a kid, shot at and hit in Viet Nam (USMC), married, divorced, been a law enforcement officer in Kalif., married and divorced two more times (the fourth one now is a charm and has lasted 24 years), raised three children (as a single dad most of the time) but always worked. Yep for 47 dang years I've worked without stop. Never collected a welfare check or unemployment benefits. Now the government flunkies have screwed the whole financial situation up so so that now I have to keep working full time until I'm 66!! Just another bump in the road. In process of all of this I managed to get my high school diploma and a college education too.

My life start was way different than yours. My mother was a self-centered psycho that only had use for one person in her life, my sister. My Dad was discharged from our house by the time I was 14, and by the time I was 17 (before I finished High School) she threw me out too. All my life I've climbed walls.

Don't give up buddy, keep strokin. All of us have to get over stuff sometimes, and it's never, never too late to do positive things. Have faith in yourself. Never say die.

My 2%. I hope I haven't offended anyone. You guys are the best.

de k8bor

dave

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:16 pm

awp101 wrote:Joe, I think you're frustrated rather than depressed. Lord knows I get that way more often that I'd like to admit and it's for the same type of reasons. At 37 I've got a long enough list of "woulda, shoulda, coulda"s myself that I dwell on at times. Then I think about what I would have missed out on.

If I'd enlisted at the start of the first Gulf War like I wanted to, I would not have met my wife and may not have been around to spend the last years of my Mother's life with her.

Boy howdy do you have that right. And I finally realized it last night. This month is the 10 year anniversary of my move to IL. I moved here Jan of 99. I've been trying to get out of here since my last trip to AZ in March/April of 01 when mom died.
Frustrated? Yeah ..... to the max.

Joe

Post by **Hobie** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:36 pm

An old Chinese curse (and there may be some irony in this) is, "May you live an exciting life." Don't sweat it. When tomorrow is today get up and do something.

In March 1973 I skipped school to go to the recruiter. I bet he thought he had a real loser coming in during school hours. In April I skipped school again to go to MEPS (in Roanoke then) for testing. The doctor discovered I was color blind and had 20/500 vision in the left eye. He kindly sat me down and asked me, "do you really want to join the Army?" An affirmative answer, a couple of close calls and I had a career. He could have rejected me. Lots of other things might have happened. They didn't. I made choices, did things and have survived to this point. Might choke on dinner tonight but right now you're getting my "wisdom".

Anyway, I believe that we've all got a part in the plan. I know that it is God's plan but you can believe what you like. We get to choose to do what's right, or not, and live with the consequences. That's both gift and responsibility. I'm doing my part as best I can. Seems you are, too. ONLY you and God really know if you're not. If you're not, only YOU can change it.

Post by **Hobie** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 3:39 pm

bogus bill wrote:Right now I am thinking about john travolta. No, I am not a fan! But my slant is he has all the money in the world to do anything he wants. Loseing his son, I bet he would trade his money and circumstances with anyone of us if it would bring his son back!

Been thinking the same thing.

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:23 pm

I'm not a great John Travolta fan, but I do like some of the stuff he's done. All I can say is that I sympathize with him for his loss. Money can't buy everything.

Joe

AkRay · Post by **AkRay** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 5:02 pm

I'm not sure, but given the time of the year, and the resolutions thing, I think that might be part of the reason you're thinking along these lines. When I was younger I used to get depressed and down on myself around this time of year, looking back at the entire past year as a time of missed opportunity. It wasn't, but that's what I tended to focus on. What got me off of it mostly was my wife and I deciding to turn New Year's into a fun time with family, friends food and fireworks. I can't change the past, so there's not much use worrying about it excessively. I enjoy the present, and do what I can think of to prepare for the future. Mostly I keep my daily walk with the Lord, and rely on Him for provision, blessings and strength. Many do it better, but I know I have a walk(relationship with Christ) and that's the key.

KirkD · Post by **KirkD** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:23 pm

Joe, I've seen a lot of people start off life very well and end very poorly. I've seen others who started off very poorly and ended very well. It's not how you start but how you finish. Don't worry about the past; focus on your future. I pray to God that I will finish well. I don't know where you are at with God, but if it were me, the first thing I'd do is to get right with God .... and I'd be stone-cold serious about it too. Then the second thing I'd do is to see what God has for me to do for the remaining years of my life and I'd dedicate my life to serving Him by doing whatever it is He has planned for me to do. It isn't easy to be committed to finishing well ..... there may be times that are dadgummed hard, but you will be making a difference for all eternity, not only in your own life, but in the lives of other people around you. You may never be famous or be written up as 'man of the year' in Time, but that is not what finishing well is about. For me, my daily relationship with God, and being able to serve Him by serving other people is the only way I have found fulfillment in life. Everything else is hollow and meaningless without being right with God. I don't mean to make assumptions about you, Joe. I'm just speaking in general and from my own experience. If I didn't give a rip, I'd have just kept silent. Hopefully, something I've said here can help.

Modoc ED · Post by **Modoc ED** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:59 pm

Hang in there Joe. It can only get better from here. Any more word on moving back to AZ or NM?

gary rice · Post by **gary rice** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:56 pm

Dont kick yourself too hard Joe. You must have had a good reason why you didnt sign. i was drafted in 68 and i had two high school friends who were also drafted. One had braces put on his teeth prior to his induction and they cut him loose (lame excuse i know but true) the other consumed alcohol for a week prior to his induction to make his blood pressure go up too high and that worked for him too. They were both excluded via medical reasons. Thats alot different than a guy just deciding not to enlist as what they did i believed was not honorable.

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:24 pm

Joe, PM on the way!

Take care Joe, the Good Lord wants you where you're at for some reason we can't fathom.. so until His plan comes clear, keep edjumacatin' us heathens about the Winchester 94!

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:37 pm

Griff wrote:Joe, PM on the way!

Take care Joe, the Good Lord wants you where you're at for some reason we can't fathom.. so until His plan comes clear, keep edjumacatin' us heathens about the Winchester 94!

Griff,

Received it. Thanks a bunch. And I will keep on keepin on.

Joe

Mokwaw · Post by **Mokwaw** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 8:11 am

+1 to what KirkD said....get a daily relationship with JESUS...honor God in all you do....love your wife with all your heart...try to be kind and tolerant of everyone you meet....all the rest will fall in place.............

KirkD · Post by **KirkD** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:11 am

I'd like to add something to what I wrote before. Joe, I don't mean to imply anything about where you are at by what I write next, but I write it just in case there are any lurkers here who are in the same position that one of my closest friends was.

Fred was one of my two closest friends. We'd grown up together and had a lot of good times together. Right up to the end we still did things together, fished together, golfed together and he'd come over to our house and bring Chinese food for the whole family and we'd have a good time. Trouble was, Fred had a speech impediment that didn't make any difference to me, but it made a whole lot of difference to him. People would make jokes to his face about his impediment. Fred always laughed it off, but the bottom line was that it wore on him over the years until he arrived at the conclusion that he was worthless. He was very intelligent and had a good job in information technology, and everyone liked him, but he figured he was worthless. He kept it private and looked for sympathy from no one, but he figured he was worthless. In fact, he figured he was so worthless that even God Himself was not interested in him. We had long conversations about this and I tried my best to persuade Fred that not only did God love him more than he could ever comprehend, but so did I and my family, and his other close friends. We couldn't convince Fred and one morning I got the call. He'd taken a head first dive onto a concrete spillway 50 feet below a local dam. It ripped me up and I still grieve to this day.

Here's my point: no matter how it seems, everyone is immeasurably valuable to God. Don't believe the lie that God doesn't care for you (not singling anyone out in particular ... but if the shoe fits, wear it). It is not true. If it is hard to convince anyone here on this board about this, know that we are only human and even we care ... how much more does God care! Jesus said that He stands at the door (to your soul) and knocks. "If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him and he with Me." Note that Jesus is polite; He waits until a person opens the door and invites Him in. Note also what happens afterward .... dining with another person was a way, back then, (and still is in my circles) of enjoying one another's company. A real relationship with our Creator is, by far, the best thing I've ever experienced. I've enjoyed a lot of things in life .... skiing the Rockies, snorkeling in tropical seas, chasing a Whitetail deer flat-out on horseback, riding across grasslands at night under a full moon, the love of an amazing woman, my wife (who I call The Queen of Hearts), but the most fulfilling thing I have ever experienced, by far, is the love of God. That is what gives life meaning and purpose. Everyone can have that. We can't all be famous, or win an Olympic medal, or the Medal of Honor, or find a cure for cancer, or save the world, but every doggonned one of us on this board can experience the love of God and the joy of serving both others and Him, and nothing beats that. The decision is up to each one of us as to whether we will get stone-cold serious with God and open the door to our soul for Jesus Christ to enter.

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 3:06 pm

Kirk,

Thank you.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I wish you could have helped him.

What you just wrote, would have made a better sermon than 99% of what I've heard at Sunday service. It's real and truth and applicable to every one.

Joe

AJMD429 · Post by **AJMD429** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:59 pm

J Miller wrote: What you just wrote, would have made a better sermon than 99% of what I've heard at Sunday service. It's real and truth and applicable to every one.
Joe

Too often we segregate our faith and our day-to-day lives, and expect an hour or two of 'enlightenment' via a preacher of some sort to carry us through; it is often our own day to day actions and that of our friends (or even perhaps, enemies) which teach us the most, and give us the most motivation to take care of ourselves so we can help others when they need something. The preachers are more like the hunting guide - interpreters and advice givers - but we ourselves have to do the hunting.