Men's "Rules", Clarified

[Pete44ru]

.

We're always hearing about "rules', from the female's POV, so - Here are Men's "rules":

* Men are NOT mindreaders.

* You're a big girl - learn to work the toilet seat ! If it's up, put it down ! We need it up, you need it down - You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down !

* Crying = Blackmail.

* ASK for what you want ! Let's be clear: Subtle hints don't work, strong hints don't work, and obvious hints don't work - Just say what you want !

* "Yes" or "no" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

* Ask our advice about a problem, only if you want it solved - That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

* Anything we say is inadmissable in an argument; in fact, ALL our comments become null & void after 7 days.

* If YOU think you're fat, you probably are - DON'T ask us about it.

* If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry - we meant the "other" way.

* Either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done - not both. (If you already know the best way to do it, just do it yourself.)

* Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

* Christopher Columbus didn't need directions; neither do we.

* All men can see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings - "Peach", for example, is a fruit, not a color; "Pumpkin" is also a fruit - We have no clue as to what "mauve" is.

* If we ask you what is "wrong", and you say "nothing", WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG ! (We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.)

* If you ask a question you don't want answered, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

* When we have to go out somewhere, ANYTHING you wear is absolutely OK ............... really.

* Please don't ask us what we're thinking, unless you're prepared to discuss topics like guns, hunting, football, baseball or motor sports.

* You have enough clothes.

* You have too many shoes.

* I am in shape. ("Round" is a shape ! )


Thank you, for reading this..............

Yes, I know that I have to sleep on the couch tonight - But, did you know that men really don't mind ? (It's like camping)




.

[Blaine]

Absolutely......BTW, I rarely have a second date with the same Lady......

[FWiedner]

[walks with gun]

Man that really hits home today, I'm hitting the woods for awhile.

[gamekeeper]

Why is this not taught in school ?.......

[Hawkeye2]

One more time if you have missed it:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s32QGjxmr-A

[Shasta]

I can relate to most of that! As they say, more truth than poetry!

Honestly though, I can't complain. The wife and I just had our 40th anniversary, and she didn't seem to mind that I spent that very day at a Cowboy Smallbore Rifle silhouette match and a gun club board meeting.
We have very much enjoyed our time together, and in all those years, we've never had a fight. Must be love.

SHASTA

[AJMD429]

One more time if you have missed it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s32QGjxmr-A

That video really 'nails' it...

I've had or witnessed that conversation dozens, if not hundreds, of times, as has probably almost every other male human on the planet, I'm betting.

[Les Staley]

Just read the rules to wife..now she's upset...couch, here I come..

[Blaine]

One more time if you have missed it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s32QGjxmr-A

That video really 'nails' it...

I've had or witnessed that conversation dozens, if not hundreds, of times, as has probably almost every other male human on the planet, I'm betting.

You have no idea.....I think we screwed up letting them wear shoes and go to school....it all went to chit shortly after

[GonnePhishin]

Pees on the seat????

[hightime]

Thanks for that, my wife and I both though it was great.

Owen

[piller]

I am mean. I put the lid down on the toilet seat. I have to lift something, she has to lift something. It took a while, but she learned to lift a lid.

My wife is hopeless with a map. I cannot count the number of times I have told her that the arrow for North does not point at her feet or her hand. She is almost able to use a Garmin without the kids help. ALMOST!!!

Unfortunately, I actually see every single color that the human eye is capable of. It makes it harder to spot an animal than you might think. Colorblind people can see the shape of an animal in the foliage better than people like me who see too many shades of color. It actually sucks.

My wife has an auditory dysphasia, so she hears things jumbled up, and sometimes says sentences in a total jumble. I have had to learn to read her mind. She sometimes cannot say what she is trying to say without sounding like a dyslexic reading Latin with English pronunciations. She truly cannot hear the difference between Milk, Mink, and Mark. Ketchup comes out sounding like Kadsop, or even Supskad. If you read something backwards, she never misses a word. Say something like asoolacsuT amabalA and she hears it as Tuscaloosa Alabama. Try working with this auditory dysphasia without reading a person's mind. It will make you go insane.

[firefuzz]

Showed this to the missus last night. I'm thankful it's summer and didn't rain, the hammock in the back yard with the dogs is much more comfortable than the back of the Yukon.

BTW, seeing as how I'm already in trouble....do you mind if I borrow this for another place? I think other bother's need to be able to experience/endure their wives reaction to it.

Rob

[winchester1886]

Your mad for saying it, and game for doin' it,Australian woman must be the same as American woman, goes to show they must all be sisters.