Prayer Request

Scott64A · Post by **Scott64A** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 11:27 pm

My wife and I are going through some really hard times and have been for a few years. We've survived an affair, (hers,) all sorts of financial trouble, and raising a baby to a fine 4 year old.

She is telling me she isn't happy, but is looking outside of herself for that happiness. Thus, she is constantly let down and I bear the brunt.

She has me sleeping upstairs, and says she needs time. We are supposed to go to a couple's weekend in Destin, FL for some faith-based marriage seminar, and I hope she will try to work on us again. I feel like I've been working so hard at keeping our relationship from the fire for so many years, and I'm getting tired. Now it's one more hoop to jump through and she's ever more distant to me.

Ah well, if you have aminute a prayer for our marriage's health would be appreciated. Pray she will become herself and stop faking her way through life so she can give a little love back.

I'm so dissapointed.

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 11:30 pm

Scott -

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. Only thing worse is when children are involved, and you stated you have a child. You will all be in my prayers.

Hagler · Post by **Hagler** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 11:39 pm

Scott,

Done.

Shawn

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 11:41 pm

I'm so sorry for your woes, Scott. It seems like Liberal Society and Dr Phill and his ilk have convinced women that happiness should flow to them as some sort of natural right......Ah, I don't want to get started.....I wish you the best, Sir.....

Marlin .35 · Post by **Marlin .35** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 11:51 pm

i AM VERY SORRY FOR YOUR TROUBLES. May God bless all three of you!!! Prayers for you all!! Art

Tycer · Post by **Tycer** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 11:52 pm

Prayers sent Scott.

I pray you both can find the peace, happiness, and strength within yourselves, so that as strong individuals, you will stand as one against the perils that vainly attempt to pry your family apart.

JReed · Post by **JReed** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:01 am

Prayers sent.

RSY · Post by **RSY** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:32 am

I am very sorry to hear that. I can sense the anguish in your words. However, have faith...

...it CAN be successfully dealt with if both parties remember their vows and commitment, at the very least. The retreat you mentioned might seem like a good start. But, those are usually largely informational and geared to folks that may not be as far down the path as your situation sounds. Y'all probably need some dedicated time with a pastor and a secular therapist.

God's blessings on you and your family. I pray we'll be hearing of a positive resolution in the not-so-distant future.

scott

Jaguarundi · Post by **Jaguarundi** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 2:05 am

Godbless & Godspeed.

PPpastordon · Post by **PPpastordon** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 2:51 am

Scott64A;
Prayers for you and yours are sent. May the vows you made to each other come alive within each of you - as alive as God intends them to be.
Grace and Peace.

gamekeeper · Post by **gamekeeper** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 2:55 am

I know only too well what you must be going through. Prayers sent.

rjohns94 · Post by **rjohns94** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 4:10 am

Scott,

My prayers are with you. I am truly sorry. I pray she attends the weekend retreat with an open heart and reconciliation on her mind.

For all those who ask for prayers, Know that I keep a prayer log and your prayer request are submitted each and every day. I keep their status going until you let us know how these things turn out. I am honored to be able to do this for a group of friends that for many, I may never meet this side of the great divide.

Blessings

Noah Zark · Post by **Noah Zark** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 8:50 am

On the list . . .

Noah

Leverdude · Post by **Leverdude** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:18 am

Sorry to hear this. I think I can say I understand what your going thru, but I cant say I know how to fix it. Be strong, keep the faith!
I'll keep you in my prayers.

Blackhawk · Post by **Blackhawk** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:21 am

Scott,

Done.

A tough situation to say the least. One I too have been in myself but without children. Stay strong my friend.

Johnny

Sixgun · Post by **Sixgun** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:51 am

Scott,
I realize this goes against conventional wisdom but try reverse psycology. I do know from past experience that when a woman don't want you, the more you try to change her mind, the more distant she becomes.
If she says its over, tell her to hit the road and go about your business. Tell her "great, the pressure is off, now its my time to play". But.........you have to mean it and be prepared for the consequenses if she takes you up on it. Either way, you want to be the one with the head held high.
Sometimes I wonder about women myself. Most are constant maintenence and are unlike your true friends, your dog and your leverguns.-----Good luck pard, stand tall and remember, YOU are #1---------------------Sixgun

canonsix · Post by **canonsix** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:05 am

Been there done that ,lost the Tshirt.Prayers up . Doug

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:33 am

Sure thing Scott. See if you can get your wife to keep in mind what's best for your child.

Rusty <><

cnjarvis · Post by **cnjarvis** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:03 am

BTDT 2.

Wish I could offer some sage advice but the only things I can come up with are old sayings: You can lead a horse to water... and It takes two to tango.

Prayers sent friend.

Scott64A · Post by **Scott64A** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:07 pm

Thanks to all.

Her car broke down this AM and even though I am 70 miles away and on an ALS ambulance, I still handled it and put out the fire between a stroke call and a chest pain call.

She seemed genuinely appreciative, and when I asked her to reconssider leaving me, she said happily, "Yes."

RSY · Post by **RSY** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 8:18 pm

Scott64A wrote:She seemed genuinely appreciative, and when I asked her to reconssider leaving me, she said happily, "Yes."

Music to my ears, amigo.

brucew44guns · Post by **brucew44guns** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 8:25 pm

After 29 years with the bride of my youth, she thought she fell in love again, with someone else. It took me a couple years to finally let go, tried shaming her, sicking the pastor on her, her friends and family told her she was nuts, etc., etc.,. I finally understood in my heart that I was all done, she was going to leave and get a divorce. When I accepted that, she did leave, and things slowly got better. I married a woman later that had a big piece of land in the sticks, we built a new house. Worked like dogs and saved, paid it all off, no debt, I recently retired. 13 years ago it was painful, but hearts heal Scott. If your old lady is through with you, you should know it better than anyone, trust me, you will go on, and prosper, and you will succeed.

w30wcf · Post by **w30wcf** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:08 pm

Scott,
Sorry to hear about your situation. If you can get her to the Marriage Encounter weekend, that may make a difference.

Also, I would suggest that you call Focus On the Family ((800)-232-6459. Explain the situation and they will offer some help.

Their web address is: http://www.family.org/
There are resources there as well.

I will remember your family in my prayers.

w30wcf

Jeeps · Post by **Jeeps** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:45 pm

Prayers sent brother....

Before you try anything else, please see if you can have her checked for
depression. It comes in all shapes and sizes.

If you let her go down the road there is a chance she will NEVER be happy.

But, it's not easy to ask someone to see a psychiatrist, or to find one that is
not a prescription writing money collector.

Just remember, at the end of the day make sure you don't hurt YOURSELF in
the process, ok.

Stay optomistic but be prepared for anything.

Scott64A · Post by **Scott64A** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 7:40 pm

Update: This weekend is the conference in Destin, FL.

We are doing better, but she hasn't said, "I love you" since the whole blow-up. I hope God keeps us together and helps her to get over all of her life's dissapointments from her childhood.

At least the weekend in Destin will give us both tools to grow together rather than apart, if she wants that.

There's a whole morning seminar on letting go and forgiving old hurts that Im looking forward to.

-Wish us luck!

C. Cash · Post by **C. Cash** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 7:55 pm

Prayers up Scott! Hate to hear you guys are going through rough times, but your character is showing through.

TedH · Post by **TedH** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:57 pm

There may be a possibility of depression. Sounds a lot like our experience. My wife and I went through a long period of unhappiness, mostly on her part. She would say she's just not happy, not in love anymore and so on. I would bust my butt to do all the little things that the ladies like to make them feel special and good about themselves. Things would be good for a little while then she would start all over again. After about 4 or 5 times of her threatening to leave I just said fine, your right, it's over, I'm done. That completely blew her away. I called her bluff and she had to sit back and rethink things. Deep in her mind she always knew she had a pretty darn good life and marriage. She went to a doctor and tried some different medications to restore her chemical balance. She's a different person now and often thanks me for sticking with her through the bad times. Truth be told, the only reason I stuck it out so long was for the sake of our daughter, but it all worked out in the end.

I will say some prayers that you all can find happiness again.

Scott64A · Post by **Scott64A** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:27 pm

Dang Ted, sounds exactly like what I'm dealing with.

Believe me, when I think of our little girl, and the stuff that would surely follow, I feel pretty sad. I have done all I can to keep this ship afloat, and if she doesn't want to work it out after this weekend, I'll let her go.

I can easily afford the mortgage on my own, and I'd have her pay support. In GA, when a spouse has an extramarital affair, it doesn't help their situation much at all, since it is against the law to do so. We have been sliding along since her affair, and even though I've done everything I know to improve myself and be a better person, I need to be with someone who will connect emotionally with me as well as spiritually and mentally.

I've never really had an emotional connetion with her, aside from the turmoil. I can't make her be a loving feeling and becoming human being as God designed us all to be.

I can only show her the door, but she has to go through it. It's more than depression from a chemical imbalance. She needs to heal and carefully examine her psyche to get over this, and she hasn't been willing to do that yet. I am hoping that if she sees God's plan for married couples at this convention, it will give her some goals to work toward when she gets back into therapy.

We all have issues and obstacles to overcome, but it is our duty to cull out the behaviors that keep us from serving our families in the best way possible. I've gotten over mine, and now it's her turn. Trouble is, she is really selfish and her motivation for all she does is for HER, and not US or our family. She will set the table with the thiungs SHE likes, and we all have to get up and get whatever condiments we like.
In ther words, because it doesn't serve HER, she doesn't care.

She thinks nothing of dissappearing for the day at a friends huse with te kid and not calling to say if she's ok or coming home. I have had to continually call her cell phone, only to have her ignore it and not answer.
I actually have to tell her how I feel it's wrong to act that way, as if she doesn't even see it. Well, maybe if she looked past herself, she would.

Sorry to rant, but it feels good to get it out.

I'm looking forward to some change, whichever way it goes.

Either I give her the boot or she grows the heck up. I don't and would not threaten that, that's not fair. If she wants in on this, then she has to get past herself. I wont stand by and be treated poorly; I deserve better than that.

Winjester · Post by **Winjester** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 10:11 am

Scott,
It's good to get things off your chest. I believe everyone at one time or another needs someone to listen to them. This forum contains the best bunch of good hearts you'll ever find.
You have my prayers and best wishes. I know personally what you're going through.
Winjester

Scott64A · Post by **Scott64A** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:19 pm

What a great conference! It was hosted by Family Life Ministries, and is called "Weekend to Remember" and let me tell you, it was fantastic. This is great bible-based counselling with guest speakers who really knolw how to humbly submit their own stories and bring Scripture to life in almost any situation.

My wife and I learned some very valuable tools in coping with conflict in a healthy way, and we were asked to take a good look at ourselves and the things we had done to either grow towards marital oneness or toward isolation. We went over some of the forces at work that try to tear couples apart, and when you really look closely at these things, we found that a lot of it had to do with our rotten and self-serving culture, propagated by Satan. "Why try to cherish your spouse when they are not meeting your needs? Why not have it YOUR way? You can do anything you want, so long as you are happy." So many dark forces at work...

We learned ways to better serve each other as the second most top priority in our lives, second only to God.
I learned how to be a pastor in my own home and to shepard my family and home by serving them lovingly and ceaselessly.

Such a psotive and reaffirming weekend. We both have things to work on, and picked up a handful of books to read and reflect upon. We were saved in the nick of time, and there were many other couples who were also experiencing a "make it or break it" weekend.

Thanksfor your prayers and good thoughts.

God bless you all.
Scott

Jarhead · Post by **Jarhead** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:31 pm

Scott64A wrote:Update: This weekend is the conference in Destin, FL.

We are doing better, but she hasn't said, "I love you" since the whole blow-up. I hope God keeps us together and helps her to get over all of her life's dissapointments from her childhood.

At least the weekend in Destin will give us both tools to grow together rather than apart, if she wants that.

There's a whole morning seminar on letting go and forgiving old hurts that Im looking forward to.

-Wish us luck!

Prayers sent and best wishes...keep the faith.

Jarhead · Post by **Jarhead** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:32 pm

Scott64A wrote:What a great conference! It was hosted by Family Life Ministries, and is called "Weekend to Remember" and let me tell you, it was fantastic. This is great bible-based counselling with guest speakers who really knolw how to humbly submit their own stories and bring Scripture to life in almost any situation.

My wife and I learned some very valuable tools in coping with conflict in a healthy way, and we were asked to take a good look at ourselves and the things we had done to either grow towards marital oneness or toward isolation. We went over some of the forces at work that try to tear couples apart, and when you really look closely at these things, we found that a lot of it had to do with our rotten and self-serving culture, propagated by Satan. "Why try to cherish your spouse when they are not meeting your needs? Why not have it YOUR way? You can do anything you want, so long as you are happy." So many dark forces at work...

We learned ways to better serve each other as the second most top priority in our lives, second only to God.
I learned how to be a pastor in my own home and to shepard my family and home by serving them lovingly and ceaselessly.

Such a psotive and reaffirming weekend. We both have things to work on, and picked up a handful of books to read and reflect upon. We were saved in the nick of time, and there were many other couples who were also experiencing a "make it or break it" weekend.

Thanksfor your prayers and good thoughts.

God bless you all.
Scott

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